Letters to the Editor: April 2004

Published on 4 April 2004 in , ,

The letters to Planet Bods keep pouring on in! And we keep

answering them Oh yes!

Date: 3 January 2004

i am trying to find how to find a piece of fottage from 1984 how would i

do so could u e mail me with information please it was taken at barnerd castle

at green lane school of children singing tooth brush crazy many thanks glen

There’s just some phrases that send a shiver down my spine, and you’ve got

two of them there – notably "children singing" and

"tooth brush crazy". It just gives me an enormous sense of

forboding, and to be honest, there is no way on earth I am going to help you

unleash this monstrosity on anyone – even if it’s just your friends! They have

the right not to have their will to live so cruely taken away from them.

Date: 7 January 2004

please mike neville i think yours great but will you wear a trendy blue

shirt with matching silk tie you will look oh so sexy

Mike… be affraid. Be very affraid…

Date: 16 January 2004

We would like to invite you to the launch of Castle Morpeth & Wansbeck

Walkers "Walk Your Way To Health". The launch will take place at

Woodhorn Grange on Friday 23rd January at 11 a.m. and will include a short

health walk around the lake.

Sounds like a rivetting day. Sadly I had to have a filling done so

couldn’t make it, but I did walk round a puddle near the tube station and

thought of you!

Date: 20 January 2004

Could you please point me in the right directions.

I understand you have a website that help or adivice people who are

receiving bogus parking tickets.

Please email me with the relevant details. If not sorry to have bothered



Ah yes. It’s over there next to the odd cartoons of a tree smoking a pipe.

How could you miss it?

Date: 26 January 2004

Wind Chill at our school average of -5. Peaked at -14 several times today.

Really? I didn’t know you could measure the rate of farts! You learn

something new every day don’t you?

Date: 6 February January 2004

When are we southerners going to see the CHARLES EVANS programs down here

we have never seen any of his show. I run a large Art group and we all want to

see him on our local box. I have been requested to ask you to put them on for

us and many more of us waiting to see them

Nah. Can’t be arsed. But if you go to Sainsburys, you can find a box

there. Ask in the grocery department. Banana boxes are the best.

Date: 3 March 2004

I would like to know why, in the year 2004 when sending a man to the moon

is easy-as-pie, a mains gas supply cannot be provided for residents of

Grangemoor Road in Widdrington Station and all of the residents of

neighbouring Stobswood. Previous attempts have failed, including attempts from

our county councillor. It is very frustrating for me as I was originally going

to install oil fired central heating but on the advice from a neighbour

changed to calor gas as it was hoped that mains gas would be arriving within

12 months. That was 2 years ago and it is no further forward. More annoying is

the fact that the rest of the village is supplied by mains gas, the nearest

main being a few yards down the road. I know that there is very little that

you can do, but highlighting the problem may get some people to sit up and

take notice.

Well indeed! So consider it highlighted. This is an important issue, and

rest assured, I will not stop until Grangemoor Road in Widdrington Station has

its gas supply. Transco had better watch out cos I’m on the case! I’ll be

travelling up to Widdrington Station to see the situation for myself and will

be personally lobbying parliment and maybe even your MEP to get you that


This is an important issue, and I really do urge everyone reading this page

to get in touch with Transco – to get in touch with your MP. Let’s make this

happen people!

Date: 5 February 2004

We would like to wish our Mam Iris a very Happy Birthday for the 11th

February. Hope you have a lovely day, lots of love from your daughter

Christine, son-in-law David,Lisa Laura, great-grandaughter Kyla, daughters

Anne and Moira and all the family and the grandchildren.xx Hope you can please

read this request out on Sunday as my mam listens every week to your Sunday

requests. Many thanks.

Dargh! I read it out on Monday. What an idiot I am.

Date: 6 February 2004

Ive recently bought and old property in Whickham. Ive been wrestling with

the refurbishment ever since.

I know absolutly nothing about gardening and so the likely hood is that

without a minor miracle, we could be looking at a lot of concrete and cheap

looking pots thrown together in no particular fashion.

A while back I sawe one of your programmes called the “whole nine yards”

where a messiah like character helps people like me to turn their back yards

into somewhere that you wouldnt be embarrassed to show your mates.

Id be very interested to get the help of this programme and sort out my

back yard.

Please can you let me know if the series will run again – and if there is

any chance I can be involved ??

Well I’ve been looking through the ‘list of programmes Bods has made’ (two

volume set now available from Amazon) and I can’t find that one at all. I

couldn’t even think up a show like that. Not even in my dreams. Not even in my

wildest dreams. Not even when I fart.

Date: 11 February 2004

I am researching the use of evidence-based policy and practice in equal

opportunities. Could you give me the name, number, address and email address

of the head of human resources? This name will be put on a database only used

by myself. In the future I intend to send questionnaires to be completed by

the individual concerned to provide data for my PhD project. Any help would be

very much appreciated.

Ah yes. The head of Human Resources is Ura P Rat, and her address is 12b

Muppet Tower, Thickoville. She’ll be happy to take your calls.

Date: 20 February 2004

rubbish. you are all rubbish

Ah good. A satisfied customer. We should have them stuffed.

And that really is it. For now anyway. Keep those emails coming

in, and don’t forget there’s more of this rubbish that is Letters to the Editor!