Letters to the Editor: April 2004
The letters to Planet Bods keep pouring on in! And we keep
answering them Oh yes!
Date: 3 January 2004
i am trying to find how to find a piece of fottage from 1984 how would i
do so could u e mail me with information please it was taken at barnerd castle
at green lane school of children singing tooth brush crazy many thanks glen
There’s just some phrases that send a shiver down my spine, and you’ve got
two of them there – notably
"children singing" and
"tooth brush crazy". It just gives me an enormous sense of
forboding, and to be honest, there is no way on earth I am going to help you
unleash this monstrosity on anyone – even if it’s just your friends! They have
the right not to have their will to live so cruely taken away from them.
Date: 7 January 2004
please mike neville i think yours great but will you wear a trendy blue
shirt with matching silk tie you will look oh so sexy
Mike… be affraid. Be very affraid…
Date: 16 January 2004
We would like to invite you to the launch of Castle Morpeth & Wansbeck
Walkers "Walk Your Way To Health". The launch will take place at
Woodhorn Grange on Friday 23rd January at 11 a.m. and will include a short
health walk around the lake.
Sounds like a rivetting day. Sadly I had to have a filling done so
couldn’t make it, but I did walk round a puddle near the tube station and
thought of you!
Date: 20 January 2004
Could you please point me in the right directions.
I understand you have a website that help or adivice people who are
receiving bogus parking tickets.
Please email me with the relevant details. If not sorry to have bothered
Ah yes. It’s over there next to the odd cartoons of a tree smoking a pipe.
How could you miss it?
Date: 26 January 2004
Wind Chill at our school average of -5. Peaked at -14 several times today.
Really? I didn’t know you could measure the rate of farts! You learn
something new every day don’t you?
Date: 6 February January 2004
When are we southerners going to see the CHARLES EVANS programs down here
we have never seen any of his show. I run a large Art group and we all want to
see him on our local box. I have been requested to ask you to put them on for
us and many more of us waiting to see them
Nah. Can’t be arsed. But if you go to Sainsburys, you can find a box
there. Ask in the grocery department. Banana boxes are the best.
Date: 3 March 2004
I would like to know why, in the year 2004 when sending a man to the moon
is easy-as-pie, a mains gas supply cannot be provided for residents of
Grangemoor Road in Widdrington Station and all of the residents of
neighbouring Stobswood. Previous attempts have failed, including attempts from
our county councillor. It is very frustrating for me as I was originally going
to install oil fired central heating but on the advice from a neighbour
changed to calor gas as it was hoped that mains gas would be arriving within
12 months. That was 2 years ago and it is no further forward. More annoying is
the fact that the rest of the village is supplied by mains gas, the nearest
main being a few yards down the road. I know that there is very little that
you can do, but highlighting the problem may get some people to sit up and
Well indeed! So consider it highlighted. This is an important issue, and
rest assured, I will not stop until Grangemoor Road in Widdrington Station has
its gas supply. Transco had better watch out cos I’m on the case! I’ll be
travelling up to Widdrington Station to see the situation for myself and will
be personally lobbying parliment and maybe even your MEP to get you that
This is an important issue, and I really do urge everyone reading this page
to get in touch with Transco – to get in touch with your MP. Let’s make this
Date: 5 February 2004
We would like to wish our Mam Iris a very Happy Birthday for the 11th
February. Hope you have a lovely day, lots of love from your daughter
Christine, son-in-law David,Lisa Laura, great-grandaughter Kyla, daughters
Anne and Moira and all the family and the grandchildren.xx Hope you can please
read this request out on Sunday as my mam listens every week to your Sunday
requests. Many thanks.
Dargh! I read it out on Monday. What an idiot I am.
Date: 6 February 2004
Ive recently bought and old property in Whickham. Ive been wrestling with
the refurbishment ever since.
I know absolutly nothing about gardening and so the likely hood is that
without a minor miracle, we could be looking at a lot of concrete and cheap
looking pots thrown together in no particular fashion.
A while back I sawe one of your programmes called the “whole nine yards”
where a messiah like character helps people like me to turn their back yards
into somewhere that you wouldnt be embarrassed to show your mates.
Id be very interested to get the help of this programme and sort out my
Please can you let me know if the series will run again – and if there is
any chance I can be involved ??
Well I’ve been looking through the ‘list of programmes Bods has made’ (two
volume set now available from Amazon) and I can’t find that one at all. I
couldn’t even think up a show like that. Not even in my dreams. Not even in my
wildest dreams. Not even when I fart.
Date: 11 February 2004
I am researching the use of evidence-based policy and practice in equal
opportunities. Could you give me the name, number, address and email address
of the head of human resources? This name will be put on a database only used
by myself. In the future I intend to send questionnaires to be completed by
the individual concerned to provide data for my PhD project. Any help would be
very much appreciated.
Ah yes. The head of Human Resources is Ura P Rat, and her address is 12b
Muppet Tower, Thickoville. She’ll be happy to take your calls.
Date: 20 February 2004
rubbish. you are all rubbish
Ah good. A satisfied customer. We should have them stuffed.
And that really is it. For now anyway. Keep those emails coming
in, and don’t forget there’s more of this rubbish that is Letters to the Editor!