Letters to the Editor: April 2006

Published on 8 April 2006 in , ,

The Planet Bods mailbag doesn’t half get a bit busy sometimes, so I apologise if your email hasn’t been answered. In the meantime, here’s what other people have been emailing in to say.


Date: 31 March 2006

If you are thinking of parking in Quickfit’s carpark in Durham on an evening dont. You will get a nasty surprise when two burly chaps rush out at you in the dark and demand 75.00, and after dark you have no chance on seeing any notices which may be displayed. Not nice for a young woman on a night out in Durham.

Nope, I guess not. Thanks for letting us know.

Find him if you can

Date: 3 April 2006

I’m trying to find out where Dave Dixon is living in France. Any ideas welcome.

Well in his book, Are You Dave Gorman, Dave Gorman wanted to track down someone who lived in France. What Dave did, was go to France and then looked for the person he was looking for. The person he was looking for, incidentally, was called Dave Gorman.

So here’s my idea. Go to France and change your name to Dave Dixon.

High Gloss

Date: 27 February 2006

hi, i am designing a make-up advert – mainly for lip products ie lip gloss, lip stick. is there any advice you could give me on how to make a good advert. i am looking at making a television/cinema dvert aswell as a print advert. i am only small scale so i am not looking for celebrities but i would include them if i could afford them, hope that you can help me, qould be much apreciated. thanks

What you need to do is consider your audience. Think carefully and find that winning idea. Here’s the brainwave I just had.

There’s a bunch of middle aged men with big bushy beards, standing in the gents loos? You cut to the mirror and see them sensually applying lip gloss, then leaving en-masse to flutter their eyebrows at women in the night club? You could follow it up with similar ads for mascara!

Information Needed

Date: 14 December 2005

i’m a student studying communcation studies at A level and was hoping you’d have some information on boy racers if you could forward any information you think may help i would be most grateful

Date: 20 February 2006

Do you have anyn information regardign boy racers. if so i would be most grateful if you could forward it to the email address above. yours sincerely, Jennifer

Well funny you should say that. I did a thesis on boy racers back in 1993. And then there’s the boy racer film sound track I compiled. Oh and that book I wrote.

No doubt all that will help you write your essay or your thesis or whatever it is you’re doing. Which is why I’m not sending it to you.

Perhaps it’s time you went back to the olden days when they had a very weird concept of work. It was called doing it yourself, or something…

Meet and Greet

Date: 3 January 2006

Do you know of any places where young boy racers go to, i am reseracher the

culture of young racers and if they meet up at certain areas.

If it’s not students, it’s people working on TV programmes. Time to name and shame an employee of ZigZag Productions, from whom this email address came from.

According to their website, they are “a young and innovative company who are well respected for their eclectic approach to program making”.

No doubt part of their eclectic approach is to employ lazy/incompetant researchers who don’t bother to read a website before bombarding them with emails for information that they could get themselves if they just bothered to learn how to use the internet.

Still, if they need any new employees, Jennifer from the last two emails about boy racers, seems like an ideal candidate!

More info required

Date: 20 February 2006

who sang the theme tune to the tv programe mr and mrs. thank you

Well I suppose it makes a change from people trying to get me to do their homework for them…


Date: 5 April 2006

hi all

Hi there!

More… errr… greetings…

Date: 8 January 2006

how are you to day myhoney

I could say something about gooey, sticky and sweet tasting substances, but sometimes it’s really best just to not go there…

Bumpy Thumpy

Date: 10 February 2006

concerning the speed ramps, during the winter weather when the snow is on the

ground and deep you cannot see them and may also cause an accident.

Indeed. Let’s ban them now. I’ll lead the anti-speed bump revolution. Come with me comrades! If we set off now we’ll be at Westminster by noon!


Date: 26 November 2005

Hello! This might seem like a weird question, but does Bob Johnson have a

calendar, that I can buy for my friend for christmas!

If you buy his calender off him, how will he know what date it is?

Sex on a Stick

Date: 9 December 2005

Des Lynham is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes it is better just to say nothing at all….


Date: 28 November 2005

where can i get a copy of that panpipe cd, please, ive tried everywhere and cant find it?????

You mean The Greatest Panpipe Album In The World?. Well sadly Planet Bods Enterprises have been struggling to keep up with the demand for this fantastic album, but we’re hoping that the brown vinyl version will be back in the stores for St. Swithens Day.

Thanks for your interest, and look out for more McMusic UK productions!


Date: 13 January 2006

You have been removed. Thank you!

Well I get the feeling that really, I should just leave it there…

Glutton for punishment? Why not read more of the drivel that is Letters to the Editor.